Love Hurts, Love Heals

Conversations with You is all about authentic connections... Very often the healing conversations enjoyed with  clients, friends and colleagues on FaceBook, The Spiritual Network and /or Skype are ideally suited for this monthly column published in Gusto Magazine.  The August Issue writing was inspired by a series of sessions and metaphysical conversations held with a client.

“Everywhere I go, couples abound. I have not had a relationship in a very long time. I think I’m scared to get hurt again. How do I mend my broken heart?”  Love Hurts

H.S.    Since you asked, Love Hurts, what if you could re-examine what love is?  To keep it really simple, let’s say that there are 3 consciousness states of love:  Love of Self, Love of Other, Love of All. All three have love as the common denominator But let’s be more precise. I propose that we define the LOVE denominator as everything; the air you breathe, as the ocean fish swim, as the fabric of this Universe. Ok?

L.H.  Ok, but how does that work to help me feel good about LOVE?

H.S.   Well, let’s look at Love of Self. Ask yourself these 3 questions and pay attention to how your body and mind respond:

1. Do I deserve love?

2. How do I receive love and gratitude?

3. Can I look at myself in the mirror and say I LOVE YOU?

L.H.  Oh, that’s intense. I never thought to ask myself how I receive love. My stomach actually felt queasy. I think it would be pretty tough to look at myself and say “I love you!”  I have to work on that.

H.S.  That’s a great idea. The truth is: the body never lies.  The mind, well, it loves to assert truth!  What the mind believes as self- important, it will seek to confirm in your everyday life.  Once the mind is comfortable with its truth, you can feel safe and in control.  In fact, the mind will regularly invite you to bypass or ignore real feelings and propose how you “should” feel so you can maintain status quo.

L.H.  Ok, THAT really hit home. My head is definitely in charge.  I guess my mind’s been working overtime to figure out how to keep me safe from what I perceive hurts, like being in love! If I’m not really ok with love in myself, it's way easier to believe that it is all about “the other” not loving me.  Hmm, all this time, I’ve been projecting, feeling angry and even feeling jealous...  OMG,  I’ve been a victim of my own perception!  

H.S.  That is an incredible insight!  I totally empathize with you. Sounds like you’ve been dealing with a lot.  The very fact that all those feelings have surfaced, I propose,  is  a blessing. It’s your heart and body letting you know that the “upper-management” -your mind- needs to experience the Truth about Love.  The moment all of you (your mind-body-heart-spirit) aligns with Truth; you heal the Self. When you love your Self...it’s so much easier to feel at peace with Loving the Other. The Self and Other; it's a dance teaching each person what it is to give and receive love, attention, kindness and compassion. The whole dynamic is based upon your shared needs, hopes, desires, expectations and feelings. In all relationships, when something triggers you, remember that you have the power to change your choices and reactions.  It is your awareness that reveals the expectations and attachments that You, yourself place on Love.

L.H.  It’s all starting to make sense.  If I am really honest with myself, I projected fears and placed conditions not only on my partner but myself as well. When we broke up, trust was breached, I thought there was something wrong with me even though I had been cheated on....oh boy, there’s a lot of pieces of this whole puzzle that are falling into place.

H.S.  Love is a powerfully supportive force in any situation and condition J  Love is what creates the space to see and eventually heal the fears that drive the need for conditions. Your mind constantly strives to figure out what love is. It always does its best and in the end, you learn to move beyond the mind and to trust something much bigger.

L.H.  Trust is a big thing for me. I think that a lot of my issues with love have to do with my need to control. I have always had a hard time with trust! I have been disappointed so many times ...and I mean even as a kid!

H.S.  That’s what great about looking at the healing power of love! J

L.H.  This conversation rattles me but I feel like a tonne of bricks have been lifted off my shoulders.

H.S. Absolutely!  It's your Truth. It takes courage to delve inside  but that’s where you always find your perfect solutions.

L.H. Life is absolutely crazy! Or maybe humanity is! Why do we go around creating so much pain and hurt when all we want is LOVE?

 H.S. I totally agree with you and it perfectly leads into Love of All. To keep it simple, I propose that you and I; that we (all) exist to purposefully experience LOVE of ALL.  Life is an experience of love and joy, pain and suffering within your Self and with the Other.  The light in you accepts the darkness within.  It is the path to knowing yourself as unified, whole and truly complete. Such love exists and this is the human spirit’s healing adventure.  Love of All is your Unity Consciousness.  It is pristinely singular yet so incredibly complex! Love of All, well, it’s a REALLY BIG concept. We could spend many sessions talking about this!  So, it’s best to break this metaphysical truth down to what most impacts your world, right now. What makes the most sense to you?

L.H.  Love My Self!

  

H.S  Perfect!

L.H. I think I need to let that whole idea go....

H.S Let go of what idea?

L.H. Love Hurts... I am ready for Love Heals!

H.S.  Inspiring!

Interested in Holistic Living & Heaaling? Read Gusto Magazine, Hamilton's Wellness Magazine!

Present to Let Go

It was a beautiful summer evening. Spontaneously I seized the moment and chose to journey to a place I loved. My mind filled with lightness, a sense of daring and adventure...  My heart and my head tingled with gratitude as I drove and finally arrived in familiar territory. I parked the car and navigated through a myriad of colourful characters, enjoyed a vanilla latte and sauntered toward my anticipated destination.

Finally, I stood outside...and to my surprise, I stood before a vacated property.  What I had looked forward to and longed for, no longer existed! I was face to face with emptiness.  Laughter, disbelief, sadness~ the irony of it all washed over me. The Universe, I thought, has a real twisted sense of humour...yet, it was exactly what I needed. (Isn't it always?  lol)

My first response was to walk around, wondering what this was all about.  As my head busily calculated options, scenarios and reasons,  my body marched forward... Distracted in the mind's doing, my being awoke to feeling lost.  All reactions and attachments to the expectations I had brought with me vanished. Instead, I became fully engaged in the present moment. All of me was on fire!  Fully awake and feeling the energetic impact of the people and the movement around me. I connected to the flow within me and experienced a sense of being part of everyone.

I was mesmerised. I watched the people around me move, interact, engage in their plays, in their stories, in their lives. While I watched, I caught glimpses of myself being seen by passers-by. The eyes, the many faces, silently spoke to me. I witnessed myself feel what I loved, what I feared, what I desired and what I judged all simultaneously. I felt their pain, their excitement, their insecurities and so much more... all within me, simultaneously.  Soon, the sea of people parted and I found my way back to my arrival point. The car door opened and let me in to what was familiar and concrete. What had begun as an escapade had transformed into a self-realizing journey.

As I headed home, I saw glimpses of my past, feeling the familiar penetrate my present moment. That is when the phone rang. The call, the conversation, somehow completed the journey. All had come full circle. The gift? Every detail, every circumstance, every person created the space so I could let everything go~the past, the desires, the attachments...There were so many insights! The innerLife work continues... :-)

 Life is truly magical and ever-present.

Feeling Blessed,

HeartSong

The Give Away Ceremony

This New Moon weekend has been life altering.
When I adopted the name HeartSong on FaceBook at 3:00 in the morning on June 8th :-)...I declared that HeartSong is debt free. I decreed that everyday, HeartSong is centered in abundance. THAT declaration invited the Universe to PLAY BALL with me. lol.

Stephanie who lives with debt (& who is truly learning to embrace BEing HeartSong) had to step up to the plate. 

In a very short time frame I had to learn:
How to ASK
How to RECEIVE
How to ACCEPT
How to GIVE
 
A few hours ago the Universe honestly threw me a curve ball... and let me assure you that I did not even know that I had stepped into the batting pit!  Bear with me as I give you the background that leads up to the lesson....

I ASKED and prayed to Lakshmi, Goddess of Abundance to help me receive what I needed to pay for the car repairs and my healing studio expenses. It had been a slow month.   Well, when I arrived in Dundas, Friday night, Buskerfest was in full swing. I heard loudly in my head ~read Tarot.  So I was guided to Adrian's store on King and people lined up for readings. I felt deeply blessed. I worked Buskerfest the entire weekend, facilitated Sound and Silence Saturday night, had a Sunday morning client before going back to the Fest until 6 pm. I received all that I needed. Stephanie HeartSong was in the flow and very grateful. Lakshmi's prosperity chants, may have had something to do with it too:-)

When I left Sunday night, I decided to treat myself to dinner. I had $40 extra.once everything was paid. I stopped in a number of places. Not one felt right. Just as I was going to head home, I decided on Sushi. I parked the car. On my way in, a street person approached me...saying 'I need $20 for the the Y'.  This seventy year old man desperately needed this money more than me...he then asked for more for the other $20 in my hand for reasons that are not important. I looked into his eyes, behind the pain and darkness was a ring of deep blue. This man was coloured....dark eyes are to be expected norm, but in that moment I saw something that I cannot explain. I gave him the other $20 and stepped back into my car to head home. It was such a strange encounter. Driving,  I realized that over the last few days, I had ASKED for help; I RECEIVED assistance and kindness from many who went out of their way to help me with the car trouble issues and I had even been offered advance session payments from regular clients which I had gratefully ACCEPTED....BUT I had not given out any actual money to anyone or for anything.

This man served as a healing angel for me. He helped to heal a fear that has lived inside me as Stephanie for a long time. The fear of not having enough... When I arrived home...still not fully aware of everything that had just transpired, I casually picked a Self Mastery card on the kitchen table. It read:
Healing: Gradually my old self falls away, my sorrow is lost and my anxiety fades. As a master I experience irreversible positive change. I become whole.

I fell into my chair, whole-heartedly thanking the Universe for this test.   Stephanie could have given him change and walked into the restaurant.  To this encounter I had brought fatigue, hunger and resentment that $40 was what I had left to bring home from a $1000 weekend of work.  I now understand that there actually was great energetic significance to this $40. (I figured that the Universe intentionally aimed the curve ball to hit me right in the brow!  lol).  What a blessing. This man gave me an invaluable gift;  abundance.

Feeling more and more connected to living love,

HeartSong











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Freedom From Fear

It all begins with one thing: letting go of fear. Strange how much power we give over to fear. It can incapacitate you, keep you trapped in circumstances that you truly dislike. Ponder this for a moment; how much of your life is planned around avoiding fear? Fear of loss, fear of poverty or fear of being judged. Some fears are essential to keep us safe, but when you are a victim of your own thoughts, worries and shortcomings, how do you break free?

 For years now,  I have been exploring how to move beyond fear. Fears that I knew were inside of me that I simply did not understand, but that I fed. Waking up feeling insecure, ashamed, or depressed etc...All I knew was that my life revolved around letting go of my fears.  Day by day, I examined what I was doing, saying, and thinking that sabotaged my efforts to powerfully move ahead in my life's work.  Asking myself how I could teach about love in life, when I didn't deeply love the life I was living!

Everyday, I waited for something big to happen, for the sun to shine upon my life in a blessed way... My yoga practice had a huge balancing effect. Through all the self-analysis and exploration,  I stayed true to my healing art.  Some part of myself believed that the Red Sea would part and I would find myself in a different world, One that was not revolving around my fears!   Well, in many ways, that's exactly what happened.

Each time I faced my life's trials and tribulations, I grew. I changed my perspective. Things started changing inside me. Once I acknowledged the strengths and courage I had within   rather than focusing on what was not working or criticizing my efforts, I loved myself a little more. One day, I was so ok with myself that my youngest looked at me strangely and said, " ok who are you and what have you done with my Mother!"

The shift inside really started to show up in my healing work.   I developed numerous programs to help others. Ultimately, what I taught or facilitated arose from the unconscious desire to design a successful formula. One that would resolve my own day to day life!  Looking back now, it's so obvious!   Each client and every student became a mirror, helping me to recognize patterns, to see the self-denial and to identify their source and reason for existence. Today I can honestly say that it is heart warming to know that as I resolved those issues in me, I observed that it served others as well, that was a most powerful healing gift and insight.

I witnessed in many different ways and in so many individuals how empowering it was to learn from fears! In fact, some clients truly mastered  fears that had gripped them for years.  I am now certain that when you've resolved a fear within yourself, it is a gift to all. As you share the rich knowledge of your experiences, you enrich the life of others!

So who holds true power? YOU. All of you is needed to move through fear. Your heart, your body and your mind at some point, must unite. When you've chosen that  fear no longer has the right to lead your life, everyday leads to freedom.

Heart-Shared,









Stephanie

Healing

Opening up your Pandora's Box requires a conscious, will-full decision to heal yourself. But what does it mean to heal?  Is it about your health?  Well, compromised health certainly is a great incentive to change your lifestyle choices and so is pain.  More often than not, it is the physical challenges you face that give you the courage to discover the root cause of what ails you.  The moment you decide and acknowledge to yourself;  " I need to change how I am living; who I am being; or who I am choosing to live with...." healing begins. It is a process of integrating healthy choices at all levels; the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual sides of self and life.

In many Eastern traditions, it is said that an illness is first detected in your energy body then some time later, it shows up in the physical body as the tangible result. How quickly the energy imbalance manifests into a physical ailment often depends on how your mind and emotions respond to life's stress factors. (We could delve into the spiritual lessons of life threatening diseases and handicaps, but that's a whole different kind of blog :-)

There are so many different ways to heal yourself.  Some ways involve prescriptions by a doctor while other  options are considered holistic medicine. No matter what your preference is, most healers and doctors both agree that  how you feel, what you think and your beliefs affect your healing.  Sometimes pain and illness is so debilitating, how can you think positively!?

Consider these spiritual insights about illness and healing shared by clients over the years:

"Oh my, these headaches stem from my fear of figuring everything out for everyone else in my life. When I can't control what they do, I suffer and everyone else around me has to deal with me. So I am still at the centre of it all!"

" Every time I do not want to to do something, instead of communicating how I feel, I become sick. It is usually stomach related."

" When my life feels out of control, my lower back hurts. Literally, I've thrown it out and have been flat on my back for days...when I do, everyone else can rescue me until I can deal with the everyday routine again. I feel terrible but that's when I get all the support I really need my life."

I would have a myriad of other insights to share but the focus here is to illustrate that awareness is the key. When you recognize how an illness or dis-ease actually is serving you to manage life, the healing possibilities are endless.  What is most challenging is to take full responsibility for what is showing up in your body, without being angry. You see, every step of the way, your body is trying to help you heal, even if it has to get your full attention via pain and discomfort. Try turning things around. Acknowledge the lessons. Be grateful for what you are learning about yourself and examine how you are really dealing with those around you. Ultimately, your body NEVER lies. It is helping you understand who you are and what you believe, deep inside. It's not trying to make you feel bad, it's simply showing you that it's time to see what you have been hiding from yourself for too long.

Discovering the root cause of illness and dis-ease may not be easy, but when you are aware of all the connections between you and your world of worries, fears, anger, expectations, disappointment... you can heal, deeply. When this insight is processed at all levels of your being, what heals in you, changes the world.

Heart-shared,

Stephanie

Seeing Change

Change is a funny thing. One day you wake up simply aware that something about you is different. It may be subtle, but you know that something has deeply shifted. You are at home with; comfortable with what you are feeling and experiencing, but as soon as you share your perception with loved ones or people who know you well...the budding changes gained may not survive the staying power of old patterns.  This morning in Mark Nepo' Book of Awakening, I was inspired by this reading: 

Breaking Patterns
We create patterns that others depend on, and then the last thing we ever imagined happens: we grow and change, and then to stay vital we must break the patterns we created... We know we are close to this when we hear someone say, "You are not yourself," or " That was out of character for you." What is difficult at this point is to resist either complying with how others see us or with holding who we really are.  
The challenge, which I don't do well but stay committed to, is to say to those we love, "I am more that I have shown you and more than you are willing to see. Let's work our love and know each other more fully."

Day in day out, I see clients who are seeking to embrace change within, but are challenged by the dynamics with those they love. I am very familiar with this journey, I think we all are.

What if you completely shifted perspective? Change has nothing to do with anyone in your life.. In fact, you can change the energy of chaos or sadness, simply by being grateful for those who are your catalysts. Begin to look at the dynamics between your Self and Others as your life learning stage/classroom.

Be the actor~ unmasked. If you are all players in this Home Theatre, choose to be the protagonist who will walk into the sunset, wiser, stronger and better for it.
The hero in this story knows his/her truth. It's all about You. And when you accept the change, no one can take that from you.  Everyday, every relationship dynamic is a new opportunity to be more heart created, to choose to create a more loving space for yourself. When this sinks into the core of yourself, it is a gift. A heart centered change that heals you and ultimately it serves those you love as well..

Heart-shared,

Stephanie

Life Healing Sound

Don't you love starting your day off on a right note?

Every morning I take a moment to contemplate, observe how I feel and centre my mind with prayer, affirmations or a meditation. During this eyes open, yet not quite awake zone :-)   I receive divine guidance, solutions to problems, brilliant ideas and insights to create a better day. I highly recommend this to you, if you do not have an existing morning mindfulness ritual. That alone can heal and transform life...Ok back to my morning- When I awoke,  I immediately began recording my stream of thoughts...all great ideas and insights but, honestly? When I listened to myself,  I could not believe how much I yawned through the 5 minute blurb! Well these sounds, I'll keep to myself!  Instead, I write this short note to inform you that the name of my first series of videos showed up:  Life Healing Sound.  
Some videos will be only a few minutes of centering or clearing the self sound, while other video clips will introduce my innerLife coaching strategies.  My a.s.p.i.r.e. to abundance program is first on my list to share with you.
I would love to have a set look and feel, a signature to Life Healing Sound. I've asked for divine inspiration so I trust that it is on its way.


Heart-shared.
Stephanie

Getting Youtube Friendly

Great news! Next weekend I will be producing new meditations and chanting videos on Youtube.  It has taken way too long for me to claim and share my talents  as a sound healer with the world. For many years, I rarely surfed Youtube. I spent time seeking to market myself without accessing an audience! I now recognize that  it was fear. For over a year recording equipment sat idle, waiting for me to muster up the courage to put myself out there. At one point,  I did record a guided relaxation  on my Dell computer.It's amazing how we are our own worst critics and saboteurs...  I judged my effort as too simple and was disappointed with the sound quality. It did not do the bowls I use justice...Wow, last week I saw that 2500 people had checked out that 8 minute video

Too funny. I was really surprised. So this was a great Life Lesson! I was fully responsible for letting attachments limit my life.   Sound familiar? Being attached to appearance really feeds self sabotage. Good to know, REALLY ready to let that one go!


The time for sounding is now. I release all struggle and limitation. All of You, out there, are part of my commitment to enrich life. I am ready to share what I LOVE with you. Soon (and it can't happen fast enough :-) You will see, hear and feel what flows through me in private and group sound healing sessions. Thanks for your patience... I will keep you posted ;-)

Heart-shared,

Stephanie

Conversations with You...

Today is the beginning of something new. I am blogging!.  The desire to communicate the spiritual views on the internet has finally inspired me to take the next step; to write.

Since the infamous winter solstice..my life has exploded with change. The changes are happening everywhere and, I believe, with everyone It's time for people to wake up seek to make a difference doing what they love.  

there's a whole lot of people who are truly stepping into themselves. The healing stories I have had the privilege of hearing have moved me and now, more than ever, is the perfect time to create the space for all these transformational  insights and experiences to be heard. 

I approached Amy at Gusto Magazine to set up an interactive column with readers called Conversations with You(C).  In June's edition...the first of many columns to come is being printed.   Although I have been doing what I love for quite some time,  writing it down is like weeding a garden, it may be hard work but it is is essential if all plants are to thrive.  I know that the seeds I plant NOW will grow my life's work.  More than ever I am connecting with  many healers and seekers who are awake and aware. People like you and I  looking to make sense of life's challenges and to apply spiritual principles to their everyday experiences. I am always amazed how people can be healed by speaking their truth, their pain, their joys, their fears, and their insights.  It is what inspires me most-to know, to share and to learn- how the healing quests and pathways of people brings us back to love..

I came up with an image to brand the Conversations with you. Danielle, my daughter will re-design...It's wonderful to have an artist in the family! It will look a little different than this one, but I consider that this really compliments the colours and look of the innerLife solutions logo.

Heart-shared,
Stephanie